some reflections

Juni 6th, 2007 in Sukabumi

“Sukabumi” (meaning Love the earth). This place is so exciting to me now because I am no longer harrased by activities in parish. Though it’s for temporary time, I enjoy it so much. I feel in my heart peace and tranquil, and of course happy. Sometimes, I need time to be alone. Whe I’m alone, I must face myself and my anxienty. It’s very interesting because I can speak myself directly and clearly. Yup, at that time, I’m not one, but two, that is myself and MY SELF. Myself talk to MY SELF. Can you understand it? If you cann’t, it doesn’t matter. It’s like ridicolous things. Anyway, this matter is important in our life. Frankly, when I talk to MYSELF, I feel divinity. Lord comes to me. It’s the situation which I long for forever. Indeed, I didn’t hear the voice of my LORD, I didn’t see what face of God is like, I didn’t touch His skin, etc. But, I can realize His Presence. Evidence of His Presence is Peace.”

Second utterance of my heart,
I think it’s not a easy matter to describe what I feel now. Feeling peaceful and anxious comes together. Sometimes, they are mixture things. I’m anxious about my future. When my mind imagine what I shall to be in the future, there is doubt in my heart. Is it really what I desire to be? It’s my question in my lifetime. Because, I realize that the future is sometimes uncertain. I believe that my destiny is in my hand. But I also aware that my life is determined by the Will of God. So, I think the best way to resolve this problem is to surrender in the hands of God while gradually I change my self better day by day. CHANGE Brother and REACH your dreams.

LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY

The other story, Yen-Yen, Chinese Restaurant, June 8th 2007

Never in my lifetime, I’m invited by a family for dinner. But, it’s broken on June 8th 2007. Ibu Christin and Pak Arif, and the lovely daughter, Stefani (I like call her in latin corona una), invited me for dinner. What’s surprise! I think it’s like a farewell dinner, but not last supper like Jesus was done with his disciples. The dinner was very impressed and exciting. Why? Because I see the happines of a family. Seeing the happines of others, especialy someone that is closed to me, make me happy too. Mmm…I shall not talk about this experience too much. I’m sure that my corona una read it. As Mary that “kept all these things in her heart” (luk 5:21), I shall behave like Mary that “kept all my feeling in my heart.
THE LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY CORONA UNA, THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE AND SUPPORT WHEN I NEED SOMEONE WHO SUPPORT ME TO CATCH MY DREAM. THERE’S A PROPER TIME THAT I WILL TELL YOU, CORONA, WHAT MY DREAM IS LIKE. BUT, NOT NOW.